Small Progress is Still Progress: The journey to become my best self.
My journey to becoming the most confident, eloquent, and competent I can be.
It took me 17 months to deliver a presentation that was coherent, clear, storytelling, and charismatic. I was not trepid, hurried, or nervous as I am known to be in a similar setting. I commanded the room, had a good brain-to-mouth flow of my thoughts, and was convincing.
This is a major stride in my journey to becoming a self-confident person, if you remember my story about emotional abuse at work so much that I lost my voice, you’ll agree this is my biggest win yet. This stride is also close to my heart because it was an opportunity to correct an embarrassing incident that occurred 4 months prior.
It began when I had a major presentation in front of my MD/CEO, peers, and external visitors, and it went south. For some reason I can’t remember I got rattled, my nerves jangled, and my brain froze. I began to avoid eye contact with the audience, stumbled over my words, and failed to get my words across. I was so embarrassed that I beat myself up the rest of the day and lost sleep over it. The next day, my manager rehashed what happened derisively and allowed everyone to comment on my presentation. It was one of the saddest experiences of my life, but that’s not the point of this piece. Today, I am celebrating a major stride.
I constantly dream of becoming a global leader of people and businesses. To achieve this dream, I know I need to refine my communication skills and I am working on improving my ability to communicate my ideas, converse better, hold the room with my presence, and influence people, yesterday, 4 months after that embarrassing day, I saw another opportunity, this time a much smaller crowd, but I did way better than the last time.
- How did I do it?
- What did I do this time that was different from the last?
- What changed?
In one sentence: I was prepared.
As someone who can talk extemporaneously and who sees people talk while they figure it out, I have come to understand that I belittle preparing. Preparation is the game-changer. This involves:
- Researching the subject matter: I researched the subject matter, and was clear on my position, and what the facts were.
- Having conversations with peers: I presented my ideas to my colleague and we discussed extensively about the subject. This gave me extra points to communicate.
- Writing or noting my points: I took the time to note my main points so that I could stay organized and on track during my presentation.
- Having a flow of talk like an Agenda: I created an agenda for my presentation so that I knew what I would be talking about and in what order.
Unlike the last time when I only prepared my slide, this time I spent time visualising the meeting and how it would flow, not just what I would be saying. For example, I visualized myself being cued in, who would do the cueing, and how I would start by telling the listeners what I would be talking about. Going through the agenda while having my notes and bullet points in front of me helped immensely in getting my nerves checked.
What changed?
I developed more confidence!
To avoid rushing my words and thoughts, I reminded myself, “There’s no hurry. Take your time and present your ideas. This is your world, and everyone else is just living in it.”
Doing that and reminding myself to take deep breaths helped me control my breathing. I realized that I tend to talk endlessly, which can make me feel anxious and rushed. This time, I paced myself, paused to take a sip of water, and made sure to relax and enjoy my presentation. I find self-talk a powerful tool for calming the nerves and staying focused. It’s important to find affirmations that work for you and to repeat them to yourself throughout your presentation.
The journey is far from over, and I know that there will be many more speeches, presentations, and interviews in my future. But this small step, this stride, this progress is progress nonetheless. It affirms what I know in my heart: that I will do fine and be great even
If you are struggling with public speaking anxiety or low self-confidence, I encourage you to keep taking small steps. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Remember, you are not alone. Many people have been where you are, and there are resources available to help you.
We all have the power to do better, put ourselves out there again, learn from our mistakes, and inch closer to our big dreams.
#30DaysofWriting #Entry8
